The EASY WAY to Control Your Thoughts and Feelings

Helloooo everyone! I hope you're all feeling good?

TODAY...

We are talking about

OVERCOMING NEGATIVE THOUGHTS & EMOTIONS!

But before we get stuck in! If you find this or any of my videos useful and want to help other people find my content too, make sure you SUBSCRIBE to my channel! It will help the algorithm boost my channel to be seen by more people, and I will be able to help more people to battle their inner demons! You never know who might need help, so please SHARE any and all of my content with your friends on your socials... Mental Health... it's a hard topic to talk about, so sometimes listening to someone else helps to ease the pressure and to know their is other people going through similar, takes the weight off somehow... I know it did for me.

HERE IT IS...

It is the worst when you are consumed by your own negative thoughts and even worse when you add in the emotions. You may chuck out needlessly mean comments and hurt the people you love.... I know I hav

e... and the effects of such a 'fight', 'emotional outburst', 'crazy moment' can be devastating. I honestly, have had to hold my hands up and apologise countless times after blowing up... it's not a fun thing to do that's for sure!

Right! Let's get real about managing our negative thoughts and feelings, so these situations can be dealt with rationally....

Thoughts, Emotions & Actions all work together... It starts with....

• A THOUGHT

• Then comes the EMOTION

• Then the ACTION

For example,

Thought = 'I want to go on holiday!'

Emotion = Excitement! Happiness! Joy!

Action = Start looking for destinations, holiday packages, flights. Start saving, Book it! And go on a glorious holiday with beautiful sunshine and incredible memories made! WINNER!

Following this scenario, now I'm going to complicate things and add in the negative thoughts.

The thought remains the same.... 'I want to go on holiday!', Now the emotion comes and yes there is Happiness, Joy and Excitement, but that Excitement could tip to anxiety; when that falls into play, the negative thoughts try to override the original thought, by telling you -

"you can't book that! It's way too expensive! When are you ever going to afford that?"

or if you suffer with social anxiety you might hear thoughts like "You want to go on holiday? Where there's loads of people you don't know? You have to find your way around these places too? They don't even speak the same language as you! Geese, thats when you get there, but before all that you have a crowded terminal and a crowded plain! You might not even get a window seat! Is it really worth it?"

Ultimately, after your INNER CRITIC takes over with those disgraceful negative thoughts, any plan you wanted to make, becomes too fucking scary! And well it's just so much safer at home. So no plans get made and well let's be totally honest... I have missed out on a lot of incredible opportunities, because I caved and listened to those thoughts, and the only person that missed out was me! JUST ME!!!

EMOTIONS...

Add in Emotion

s to this and a volatile situation, and well you've got yourself one massive mess! Negative Emotions can be overpowering, they can destroy your life in a second, they can change the course of your future, they can make you lose friends and family. So I want you to understand that in a situation where you are about to explode at someone and your overwhelmed with emotion... there is no harm in saying to them 'I'm sorry but I can't do this right now. I will talk to you when we can discuss this calmly' and walk away.... WALK AWAY!

Here's the steps I use when dealing with a situation like this: -

Step 1 - Tell the other person/people "I can't do this right now! I will talk to you about this when I'm feeling calmer'

Step 2 - WALK AWAY!

Step 3 - Find a nesty spot, where you can be alone (i.e. Toilet cubicle, spare room, meeting room, contemplation r

oom, in the car (make sure you've parked up), in the garden, in the woods... anywhere you feel comfortable to be alone)

Step 4 - Sit or lie down

Step 5 - Close your eyes

Step 6 - Listen to the world around you and take a few slow, deep, intentional breathes

Step 7 - Start to focus on your breathing. (do more deep breathes if you're still feeling upset/tense/angry, and continue until you feel calm)

Step 8 - once you feel calm and able to process your thoughts with your conscious mind taking control and not your emotions, you can now start to build your reaction.

Step 9 - ALWAYS REMEMBER TAKING 5 to calm down is better than having more apologies to make and relationships to mend.

I do this because there is no competition.... I don't want to apologise all the time, I don't want to make people feel shit, I want to lift people up and celebrate the humans I know, so I decided one day, that this is NOT how I want to live my life; always falling victim to my inner critic and listening to awful, horrendous things this bitch in my head would chuck in my path every step of the way, and then battling with her made me exhausted and just not a very nice person to be around. I had had enough and needed to learn why this was happening and how I can stop it!

I read lots of blog posts, watched countless YouTube videos and researched to find something, anything that would help me with this... for years this went on and honestly I couldn't find much help.... until I met my man! I have seen him deal with other peoples aggression in the most diplomatic and calm way, I was shocked that this was even an actual method you could use.... I'm a gypsy right and if there's a fight, there's a fight and I will stand and fight! but when I watched Dan (my man) hold himself so collected whilst someone was screaming in his face, my perspective completely changed and I realised that I just don't need to react! It made me think ab

out how I hold myself in a situation like that and I am all guns blazing zero fucks given, but I knew that was not how I wanted to be. So I perfected the process of walking away and taking deep breathes. This very same process can help you when dealing with the negative thoughts as well as the emotion, so give it a go!

BONUS TIP

Especially for those negative thoughts: -

Step 1 - You get an unwanted negative thought (or 100 of them)

Step 2 - Take yourself to a nesty spot where you can be alone

Step 3 - Sit down and close your eyes

Step 4 - Visualise yourself balling up your negative thought(s) like a bit of paper

Step 5 - Visualise SLAM DUNKING it in the bin and let go of it!

Step 6 - Forget about it and move on

Step 7 - repeat the process as many times as necessary to stop those thoughts in their tracks!

Happy Monday everyone!